Selective Memory
by ClassicalTale
Summary: A piece of forgotten history suddenly came back to Yuuri and the event that he remembered was not pleasant. He is afraid of what it may do to his relationship with Viktor, but he knows that he must tell him the truth. However, what will happen once he does? (Past YuurixChristophe, YuurixViktor. Rated M for yaoi smut. You've been warned.)


_The usual case of selective memory revolves around trying to forget an event that happened or having something that happened in the past resurfaced. In Yuuri's case, after his friends revealed how he acted while getting wasted during the banquet last season, another piece of memory reveals some shocking news that he never thought would have done before. In fact, if he told Viktor about it, he is afraid that it may damage his relationship with him and Viktor may leave. However, the longer he keeps this secret, the more it affects him. Eventually, Viktor has to find out, but when he does, what will happen between the two lovers?_

 **Author's Note: As you know, I am absolutely addicted to Yuri! on Ice! It is such a fabulous show with a great plot, great characters, and an addictive pairing. I'm all about Yuuri and Viktor, but after the episode where Yuuri's friends reveal that he got so drunk that he went pole dancing and stripping and that Christophe joined in, it got me thinking. Naturally, Christophe is probably the most sexiest man in anime that I have ever seen and has such a nice ass too. So for this story, it will be about Yuuri remembering having sex with Christophe. This is past Yuuri x Christophe and present Yuuri x Viktor. Also, there is no seme or uke for this story. I wanted to make things different. Also, I don't plan to ruin the dynamic of Yuuri and Viktor, but the thought of Yuuri and Christophe having sex sounded like a good idea. To make it up, the next stories I publish on Yuuri and Viktor will be solely on them. Anyway, be sure to review and I own nothing from Yuri! on Ice.**

* * *

Selective memory: an ability to remember some facts while apparently forgetting others, most being too inconvenient. It could range from disgraceful to embarrassing memories that are too cringy to even think about. Some cases of selective memory comes from a choice that one regrets that they made, saying something cringy or stupid, or trying to forget how much of a jerk you used to be. In Yuuri Katsuki's case, however, it was something further from that. It had not been too long since Yuuri won silver at the Grand Prix with Yuri Pliesetky winning gold, although the latter narrowly defeated him by .20 points. Before that, Yuuri and the other contenders met up to have a chat. During that time, they revealed to Yuuri, who is normally as innocent as a newborn infant, that his loss at the last Grand Prix left him not only depressed, but extremely isolated from the others at the banquet last season. Because Yuuri was undergoing this depression, he went on a heavy drinking spree and got too hammered to think with sense. Apparently, he was so hammered that he actually started stripping, dancing, and even danced on a pole with Christophe, with the latter having the pictures on his smartphone to prove it. Never had Yuuri felt so embarrassed by something like this before. However, memories of what happened when he got drunk started to come back and one particular memory was... not good.

It hadn't been long since Yuuri moved to Russia with his lover, Viktor. The two were already engaged, but the wedding had not been planned yet. For now, their engagement was only known and once the wedding was planned and dated, the two planned to announce it to their friends. By Yuuri's request, Viktor promised to not bring any media attention to their wedding. He wouldn't mind if pictures were taken, especially given Phichit's strong desire for posting selfies on Instagram, but he did not want any media attention.

He laid on his bed, eyes blank and glanced to the ceiling, wearing nothing but a black sweater and gray jogging pants with nothing on his feet to protect them from the cold weather. The room was warm enough for the Japanese figure skater to sport shorts and a tank top, but he was comfortable with what he had on. Viktor had left to take Makkachin out for a walk and Yuuri suspected that his lover would not return until later. However, it was all the time it would take for Yuuri to remember something from his past that he never thought that he would ever do. In fact, the reason he was laying in the dark room with the blinds closed on a cloudy yet sunny winter day was because he remembered an action that he did before... one that he feared would never happen. It only took the talk between him and the other contenders before the Grand Prix to jog his memory about some of the embarrassing things he did at last year's banquet. However, other than stripping down and pole dancing, there was one particular event that made him feel uneasy. It caused his lungs to swell and sweat to fall from his head. The blankness in his eyes started to gain volume and his mouth opened wide. He couldn't believe that he did something like that.

 **Last Year**

"Okay, my dancer friend, time to escort you to your room." Chris said as he guided Yuuri back to his hotel room.

The two had just left from the banquet about an hour ago and right now, Yuuri was hammered, _really_ hammered. He had too much to drink after falling into depression about losing the Grand Prix Finals and acted like any other drunk with too much alcohol in their system and Chris was left having to escort the drunk back to his hotel. Phichit said that he would take Yuuri back, but his parents wanted to go sight-seeing with him, so he left Yuuri with Chris. Chris didn't mind actually. He enjoyed seeing this side of Yuuri; for once, Yuuri cut loose and relaxed and he enjoyed seeing the young man danced with profound sexuality. It was definitely new and probably the only time that he would see him dance like that, but it was definitely worth it. He even made sure that Phichit took pictures of it on his phone so he could treasure the moment.

After Yuuri had managed to open the door, Chris threw the Japanese figure skater's arm over his shoulder and walked him to his bed. The room was pretty big and spacious with a lavish king-sized bed with golden sheets and red rose designs, holding six pillows for comfort. The room was colored in pristine white with a balcony. The carpet floor danced in the color of maroon and the room itself was scented with the heavy fragrance of jasmine and lily. Chris had to give it to Yuuri for picking such a lavish hotel room.

"I must say. You have excellent taste, Yuuri. I'm jealous." Chris stated.

He glanced back at Yuuri, who appeared to be drunk, but of calm mind. Good thing the alcohol was not making him sick. However, he could see that the young man was developing beads of sweat on his face and kept tugging at the collar of his shirt. The alcohol was making him hot.

"Hold on." Chris proceeded to help Yuuri in removing his clothes. First that came off was his shirt and Chris tossed it to the floor. Then the Swiss figure skater undid the young man's belt before unzipping his pants, pulling them off the skater's waist. He lifted Yuuri's legs to pull the pants off of his feet till Yuuri wore nothing but the black boxer briefs that he got a glimpse of during the banquet. Chris took the time to examine the skater's physique: he had a good amount of muscle development, but was not over-muscular. As a skater, the physique is one of the most important aspects that a skater, or anyone pursuing a career that involves the movement and flow of the body, should take care of. After all, no one was willing to see a bodybuilder dressed in tights skate through ice. Yuuri's legs were surprisingly fuller than Chris had expected. He could tell that the skater focused on his leg movement because the work was showing through the tones of his calves and thighs. When he knelt down to feel them, he noticed that they were surprisingly soft and smooth, hinting that Yuuri avidly applied lotion to his skin. From above, Chris could hear the Japanese skater moan a little and looked up in curiosity. He noticed that a smile had planted onto Yuuri's face, but something was different about the smile. Unlike the usual friendly smiles that Yuuri exchanged to others, this one was read of pure lust, something that the Swiss skater was not used to seeing. Suddenly, Yuuri pulled Chris up to his feet by his shoulders and pushed him on the bed. Before Chris could say anything, Yuuri proceeded to lean in, dig both of his hands into Chris' pockets, and pulled out the man's smartphone.

"I wanna dance for you." Yuuri said drunkily.

Quite naturally, Chris found the request hard to resist. He proceeded to strip himself of his own clothes until he wore the black, lace underwear that gave a seductive visage to the shape of the man's hips. Yuuri licked his lips, hinting that he was enjoying what he was seeing and walked over to the entertainment center that housed a flatscreen TV that was drilled to the wall. He opened the phone, found the camera app, and set the phone to record. Once he was finished, he turned back to Chris, his eyes now subtle at his glance and walked over to the Swiss man seductively. He crawled on top of him, forcing Chris to lean back as he prepared for Yuuri to give him a show. Yuuri laid firmly on Chris' lap, rose back up, and proceeded to give him a dance.

Slowly, he swayed his hips in circles, hands rubbing around his chest and stomach. He stopped rubbing himself and grabbed Chris' hands, placing them firmly on Yuuri's rear.

"Mmm." Chris moaned.

Yuuri didn't have a plump and big rear, at least not as big as Chris', but the Swiss man found himself adoring the touch. He could feel the fabric tightening with each sway that Yuuri gave till most of his ran into the crack. Chris also looked at Yuuri's manhood below to see it erected underneath the fabric, hinting that he was enjoying what was being done. Unable to contain his pleasure, Chris began to erect too as Yuuri felt his cock tickle him from underneath. Yuuri stopped swaying and stood up on the bed, pulling Chris to his feet as well. The taller man looked down at Yuuri, waiting for him to make the next move.

The Japanese skater turned away from Chris and immediately grinded his rear to Chris' cock. By reflex, Chris wrapped his arms around Yuuri's waist, bringing his lips close to his neck and his chin on his shoulder. Yuuri reacted by placing a hand on top of Chris' head and swayed his hips. Chris swayed to the rhythm of Yuuri's hip movements, their bodies gently rocking the bed. Chris proceeded to lower his hands a bit downward until he could feel Yuuri's aching member, giving it a soft squeeze that earned a lovely moan from the Japanese skater. By squeezing Yuuri's cock, the shorter male's sways were longer and wider than usual, much to Chris' pleasure as he could feel Yuuri's rear pressed against his cock.

"My Yuuri, you are quite the dancer. I get the feeling you want to more than just dance." Chris said in a low, seductive voice.

"Chris..." Yuuri said, waiting for a moment before he could finish. When he finally spoke, he stopped dancing and turned around to face Chris with passionate eyes. He wrapped his hands around Chris' neck and came in closer, pressing their bodies together. Blush rose on his face as he leaned in and gave Chris' neck a gentle lick.

Chris took it as an answer to his previous statement. Yuuri was looking for more than just a dance. The shorter male proceeded to kiss Chris and their bodies hug each other tightly as they did. With each kiss, every deepened moan, their bodies slid against each other in a passionate grind. Chris could feel his underwear tightening with each stroke the two deliver, tightening at his cock and hips. He enjoyed the feel of it all and enjoyed holding Yuuri so close to him. The Swiss skater stopped the two and proceeded to remove his underwear before removing Yuuri's. He glanced at the younger male's cock and looked with hunger.

"It's not big, but I can work around it." Chris almost proceeded to lay his lips onto Yuuri's cock, hungry for a taste until the Japanese skater stopped him. Chris looked up in confusion and noticed the innocence returning to Yuuri's eyes. The skater looked down at the Swiss man and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Chris... I heard that you don't like to be top, so..." Yuuri's blush grew violent by his following silence. However, Chris was able to see what he was talking about and moved up to Yuuri.

"I understand, Yuuri. I don't have any toys with me, but we'll make do with our fingers." Chris said in a low tone of voice.

He proceeded to kiss the younger male on the lips, hands already roaming around his body. Yuuri's breath grew heavy under the kiss, as if he did not want to let go. He wanted to feel Chris, touch him, feel him, taste him, anything that involves spending this night with him. He wanted to do it all. Fortunately, Chris was willing to offer that need.

After the kiss, Chris removed his lips from Yuuri's and started planting light kisses from his neck and to his navel. He eventually began sucking on Yuuri's hip, grabbing hold of his rear in the process.

 _"Let me tease you for a second, Yuuri. I want to taste of all you, not just a portion. I want the full course."_ Chris thought to himself.

He looked up to see that Yuuri was enjoying the sexual attention and reached his hands to stroke his hair. Chris moaned under each lick, to which Yuuri felt. He could feel the older man's tongue dancing on his skin, the soft vibrations from each moan coming from his mouth. It wasn't long until that same sensation reached Yuuri's cock. The sensation was beyond pleasant... it was extraordinary. Chris knew which area to touch and how to please Yuuri. Plus, he knew how to be careful when it came to someone as inexperienced as Yuuri.

 _"I'm not ready for you to bloom, Yuuri. I want you to bloom by my touch, not by my tongue that craves to taste you."_

 _"Take me, Chris. Take me as yours. Make me feel like the only man in this world worthy of your pleasure. Make me feel alive!"_ Yuuri thought.

Yuuri's hips began to sway under Chris' mouth, savoring each lick and taste from the older male. It drove Chris that he was giving pleasure to the usually stiff and anxious young man, to know that he was allowing him to relax.

Eventually, Chris stopped and rose his head to plant a passionate kiss to Yuuri. Yuuri absorbed the kiss, cupping his hand around Chris' face. So much passion came from the kiss and Chris couldn't contain himself from moaning. Yuuri moaned as well. The two laid down on the bed with Yuuri on top, their lips refusing to part. The passion began to get rough as Yuuri's hands left from Chris' face and wrapped his arms under Chris' pits and over his shoulders. The Swiss man pushed his tongue to Yuuri's mouth for entry, which he allowed.

 _"I want to taste your mouth. Taste the flavor behind it, Yuuri. Thank you for allowing me to taste it."_

The two flipped over, but their lips remained locked. This rolling around continued until Yuuri found himself on top again. Once they were, their cocks began to brush together, inciting a new urge into the two. On instinct, Yuuri began to grind against Chris' cock with his own. Chris followed the rhythm and they found themselves cock grinding in a rhythmic flow. Chris' kisses got rough, weakening Yuuri until he released him, giving Chris enough mobility in his arms to grab Yuuri's rear. Their grinding caused the bed to rock violently and Chris flipped them over. They began to ruin the sheets' cleanliness and the pillows started to become disordered. Without thinking, Yuuri reached from behind and inserted one finger into the Swiss man's hole, causing his breath to get hitched.

 _"Ah! Yuuri!"_

 _"Chris... You feel so warm inside. I love how you feel."_

Even though Yuuri was aware that subtlety was the key to sex between men, the feel of Chris' rear caused him to jam his finger in a rapid motion. Chris has been on the receiving end before, whether it be from a toy, finger, or cock. He had grown fond of the feel of his rear being invaded and this was no exception. However, he still loved the feel of it and whenever he could feel that particular sensation, he went wild. He began shaking his rear to the flow of Yuuri's fingering, inadvertently humping Yuuri's cock even faster. The pace of Chris' humps made Yuuri feel revigorated. He spreaded his legs even wider and their moans grew loudly.

The two could feel their climaxes reach their peaks and they went faster to absorb in the pleasure.

 _"Oh, Yuuri. You're... going to make me cum!"_ Chris thought.

Eventually, hot white liquid squirted from their cocks and they pressed against each other to absorb the sensation. Once their climax had reached its peak, they released the pressure and Chris rolled off of Yuuri the moment the younger man's finger was out of his rear. He glanced over at Chris, out of breath and panting. Chris looked back and smiled at the young man.

"My, Yuuri... that was incredible. Probably the best that I've ever felt before." Chris stated.

"Same here. Sorry I couldn't be top. I'm not sure if I would be into that kind of thing." Yuuri said.

"Don't be. Sometimes, sex without a top is the most fun sex as you witnessed." Chris then moved closer and pulled Yuuri into him, hands already on his rear. "By the way, I'm still feeling hungry for more. Shall we have another go, but slower this time?"

Yuuri smiled and kissed Christophe's cheek.

"Sure."

 **Present**

The worst part when it came to reminiscing about the time between Yuuri and Christophe had sex was that Yuuri found himself getting erected to it. Immediately, he covered his erected cock and sat up with hot sweat rolling down his face.

"Oh my God. What kind of fiancee am I? It's worse that I had sex with Christophe in the past, but to actually _enjoy_ those thoughts?" Yuuri said in shock.

How could he betray his lover like that? How could he enjoy the sexual thoughts of another man while he was with one? He felt disgusted. Ashamed. Suddenly, tears began to pour from his eyes and he fell back to the bed on his side. Then he began to think about Viktor. He had been with him through everything. They've laughed, practiced, danced, and cried together. They had become the ideal soulmates. Viktor had become someone that Yuuri depended on and could not think about being without. For Yuuri to enjoy these thoughts, it affected him like poison in his bloodstreams. It made him feel ill, dirty, ashamed. How could he think of things like that?

His tears rushed like waterfalls and his throat felt sore. He was disgraceful. He knew Viktor could never love him for what he had done. There was no way he could and Yuuri would not blame him. Then suddenly, he heard footsteps coming from somewhere in the house, following by the pants of a dog. Viktor must've came back after going out for a walk with Makkachin. Yuuri sat back up and dried the tears from his eyes, the erection he had earlier going down once he heard him.

"Yuuri! I'm back!" Viktor cried out.

Yuuri sat there on the bed and looked down at the floor. He knew he had to tell Viktor what had happened last season. He knew he had to tell the man he loved that he slept with another before him. It may ruin their relationship and the thought of no longer being with Viktor scared him, but he could not hide this from him. Viktor may have been forgetful and sometimes brutally honest, but he was always a good man. He deserved to know the truth. Eventually, Yuuri heard the door creak and spotted Viktor peeping through the crack. He opened it once he was certain that Yuuri was inside and greeted his fiancee with a smile. Makkachin entered and began circling around the bed before it climbed onto the bed to rest after its walk. Yuuri smiled at the sight of Makkachin and turned back to see Viktor approach him. The Russian male sat next to Yuuri and kissed his cheek before noticing how dark the room was.

"Goodness, Yuuri! Why is it so dark in here?" Viktor asked jokingly before he saw the change in Yuuri's eyes.

Viktor noticed how Yuuri's eyes averted away from his gaze, which set off as a warning that something was wrong. Yuuri's face darkened and he caressed Viktor's right knuckle with his thumb before looking back at his lover with a sad expression. This concerned Viktor.

"Yuuri? What's wrong? Is there something you want to talk about?" Viktor asked.

Yuuri stayed silent for a moment until Viktor placed a persistent hand on his shoulder, urging him to tell the older male what was wrong. Eventually, Yuuri found the courage to tell Viktor.

"Viktor... there's something I want to tell you." Yuuri started off.

...

Yuuri explained his story to Viktor. He told Viktor what he had remembered following the night of last season's banquet and his night with Christophe. While he was unsure at first, he spoke of what happened in great detail as Viktor listened, absorbing every word that was spoken to his younger lover. Each word sent small waves of pain into Yuuri's heart. This was not easy to talk about, but he couldn't hide the past from Viktor. It was not right to the man he loved to keep secret of what he did. Once he was finished, he found himself unable to look at Viktor and could not feel a tear shedding. He didn't deserve to cry.

"So that's what happened. The worst part when I remembered this is that I slightly enjoyed it." Yuuri began to choke once he said that, but cleared his throat. "I know it was wrong, but I was drunk. Still, it's no excuse. The bottom line is I slept with another man before you. I am sorry, Viktor."

Yuuri looked up at Viktor to check his expression. He had expected for Viktor to be heartbroken, disappointed, or above all else, angry that his lover slept with another man. However, what he saw in Viktor's eyes surprised him. Viktor did not appear to be distraught over the story that Yuuri told him. In fact, he appeared to be... understanding. Before Yuuri could ask, Viktor pulled him in for a hug, holding him tightly into his arms. This confused Yuuri.

"Viktor, you're not mad at me?" Yuuri asked.

Viktor released him so he can look him in the eye. A small smile surfaced on his face before he could speak.

"Yuuri... I am not mad that you slept with another man, especially Chris, before you met me." Viktor said.

"Really? B-But... I..." Yuuri found it hard to complete his sentence, so Viktor took over.

"Yuuri. What happened between you and Chris was in the past and before we were engaged. Do you think I care about some old flame? Besides, as long as I know that you still love me and are not seeing anyone else, I am happy." Viktor stated.

Suddenly, the overwhelming guilt that Yuuri had felt earlier started to fade away. Viktor was not mad about what Yuuri told him. He actually understood where he was coming from. Yuuri did not know whether to kiss Viktor or just slap himself silly for ever thinking that Viktor would go as far as to leave him for sleeping with another man before him. However, before any of these thoughts could become reality, Viktor said something else that also took Yuuri by surprise.

"Plus, Chris showed me the video at the Cup of China program." Viktor said, earning a baffled look from Yuuri. Did he say "video"?

"A video? Wh-What video?" Then Yuuri remembered something. At the midst of their dance, he had took Chris' phone and set it to record. It never occurred to Yuuri that the video did not stop recording once things got hot and heavy between him and Chris. Simply put, the phone recorded the entire time the two had sex. "Oh God." Yuuri said with a weak stomach.

"I must say, for you to have been a virgin before you slept with Chris, you knew what you were doing. The first time we had sex, you acted sheepish and shy." Viktor stated.

Right now, Yuuri wanted to hide under a rock. He couldn't believe that he forgot about the video, let alone even recording it in the first place.

"Oh man. Did he...?" Yuuri found it hard to ask, but Viktor could tell what he wanted to ask.

"Do not worry. Chris said that he did not want to post it because he knew you would never talk to him again if that happened. It's still in his phone, but he hasn't uploaded it." Viktor proceeded to say something else that would send Yuuri over the edge. "Also, I slept with him too."

Yuuri's eyes went as wide as golfballs and he screamed so loud that it sent Makkachin out of the room.

"You and Chris slept with each other?!" Yuuri asked, earning a nod from Viktor.

"Yes. This was a year before you entered the Grand Prix. We were roommates staying in a hotel together just a day before the event. We got drunk, showered together, and one thing lead to another." Viktor said.

Yuuri slouched over on top of Viktor's laps, his brain hurting from having to comprehend what he had heard.

"Isn't that something? Chris claimed us both before we met each other." Yuuri said dryly.

Viktor began to caress Yuuri's dark hair and pulled him back up to face him.

"As I said, it's all in the past. Besides, Chris has someone new and we're still friends. You need not worry about it any longer." Viktor proceeded to kiss him before gazing back.

Yuuri absorbed Viktor's words and began to smile. He was right. He shouldn't worry about the past while they had a future to worry about. All that mattered was that the two were together now and engaged. As long as they loved each other and wanted to be with each other, that was all that mattered. Yuuri figured this out all the while worrying about losing Viktor. He loved Viktor too much to lose him and not even an erotic and passionate memory of him and Chris could ever replace that. Viktor was his and he was Viktor's. They were meant to be together and nothing would keep them apart. Yuuri kissed Viktor's cheek and gazed at him with affectionate eyes.

"You're right, Viktor. I'm sorry for assuming that you would leave me for something that happened in the past. I love you, Viktor." Yuuri said softly.

"And I love you too, Yuuri." Viktor also said as he leaned in for a kiss.

Once their lips parted, Viktor got up and closed the door behind him. He turned back to Yuuri and gently laid him on the bed until he got on top of him.

"Still, you said that there was no top during your sex with Chris. Coincidentally, Chris and I never topped one another as well. So how about we employ the same technique?" Viktor suggested.

The first time Yuuri and Viktor slept with each other, Viktor was on top and it has been that way the other times, which were two. However, the thought seemed to have enticed Yuuri. Besides, it was going to be with Viktor and not Chris. He smiled and kissed Viktor before he answered back.

"Sure. Why not?" Yuuri responded.

Viktor smiled and lowered down to kiss Yuuri, arms immediately wrapped around him. Yuuri wrapped his arms around him too as they kissed and felt each other. Yuuri knew that he was going to be happy with Viktor for a very long time.


End file.
